Truly, truly a song with lyrics I can relate to. Keisha, you really make life bearable for me. You make it real for me.




There's so much craziness surrounding me
There's so much going on it gets hard to breathe
All my faith has gone you bring it back to me
You make it real for me
Well I'm not sure of my priorities
I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be
And like holy water washing over me

You make it real for me
And I'm running to you baby
Youuu are the only one who save me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

When my head is strong but my heart is weak
I'm full of hurricanes and uncertainty
But I can find the words
You teach my heart to speak

You make it real for me yeaaa
And I'm running to you baby
You are the only one who save me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

Everybody's talking in words
I don't understand
You got to be the only one
Who knows just who I am
And you shine in the distance
I hope I can make it through
Cause the only place
That I want to be
Is right back home with you

I guess there's so much more
I have to learn
But if you're here with me
I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere,
Somewhere I can learn

You make it real for me
And I'm running to you baby
Cause you are the only one who save me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me
You make it real for me

Apologies for the music and the Mi-8 near the end, but this was the best short video I could embed of the Hind.

I might not agree about it being "the best in the world", but I do agree it is *one* of the best.
Am still a Hind person. All it needs is a much better electronics/avionics suite.

Excerpted from an article in yesterday's Star.
To me, it just showed the sheer depth of cruelty in the hearts of the Pulau Ketam residents.

This is the account of one of the key players in helping bring the dumped dogs into safe hands, TVSmith;


“On one of my trips to Pulau Ketam, I noticed a dog tied up in the compound of a house. I asked the lady beside it why it was necessary to tie the dog in its own compound. She said it’s fierce and must be kept secure,” said Smith.

“Then I asked if she could at least put it on a longer leash, at which point she asked what I was doing there. I said I was part of the team rescuing the dogs on Pulau Selat Kering.

“She then said ‘Oh, I hear the dogs are eating each other there’, and burst into laughter. It made my blood go cold,” said Smith,

If I could declare an Exterminatus on the inhabitants of Pulau Ketam (Crab Island), I most certainly would. But I can't.

So what I can do, dear friends is to again urge for all of us to boycott dried seafood, or any seafood for that matter from Pulau Ketam. It's their main source of income, if I am not mistaken.
Please do spend the time to find out where its from. Ask around, and do write to your hypermarkets.
Find out where they're sourcing their dried seafood from, and if its Pulau Ketam- urge them to stop.

Project Kundang 30/5/09 was a resounding success, I am happy to report. Shampoo, kibble and rice delivered to Furry Friends Farm with no untoward incidents.
Intend to return next month with similar amounts. Am fully committed to helping the shelter.

On a more human note, I was touched by how happy all the dogs were at Furry Friends Farm.
I have been to another animal shelter in the Kuala Lumpur/Selangor area and by far, these dogs despite what they have been through, are clearly not only safe but destined for a happy future.

This is provided that we can do our bit to help ease the logistical burdens of Furry Friends Farm.

To my dear fellow Malaysians who can spare the heart and the time, the Furry Friends Farm needs;

1. Dewormer for pups, 3-4 KG body weight;
2. Dewormer for dogs 12-15 KG body weight;
3. Dog shampoo;
4. Dog food (dry or can);
5. Rice (2kg,5kg or 10kg pack).

Alternatively, cash donations can be forwarded to:

Furry Friends Farm
1457-0001182-056 (CIMB account number)

For further information, please contact Ms Sabrina Yeap(email sabrinayeap@gmail.com or sms to 016-6319018).

A special message to all my Malaysian friends.
Furry Friends Farm, the animal shelter responsible for cleaning up much of the Pulau Ketam mess, needs help to maintain the rescued dogs, who are now at their Kundang, Selangor farm.

To my dear fellow Malaysians who can spare the heart and the time, the Furry Friends Farm needs;

1. Dewormer for pups, 3-4 KG body weight;
2. Dewormer for dogs 12-15 KG body weight;
3. Dog shampoo;
4. Dog food (dry or can);
5. Rice (2kg,5kg or 10kg pack).

Alternatively, cash donations can be forwarded to:

Furry Friends Farm
1457-0001182-056 (CIMB account number)

For further information, please contact Ms Sabrina Yeap(email sabrinayeap@gmail.com or sms to 016-6319018).




Personally, I would also urge all to boycott any seafood products from Pulau Ketam. When you buy your ikan masin(salted fish), your udang kering(dried prawns), spend the time to find out where its from. Ask around, and do write to your hypermarkets.
Find out where they're sourcing their dried seafood from, and if its Pulau Ketam- urge them to stop.

Thank God for four-day weekends.

There's a certain annoying feeling. When you're away from the computer, you get all the ideas- what to write, how to write it, what words to use.

Then when you finally sit down and find the time, what happens?
They're all gone.

Which is pretty much what's going on right now with me.

I've been musing on racism this whole week. Pondering on just how it's just not needed anymore, not that it was ever needed in the first place.
As far as I'm concerned it's one of the sneakiest dividing forces in any community.
How it just forms without people realising its there- and by the time its there its too late.
The stereotyping, discrimination and prejudice is there for a very very long time, undoing any unity that had been built by prior generations.
Formerly warm homes cut apart by walls of fear strengthened with hate as strong as steel, sometimes coated in the false pastel shrouds of official lies, doubletalk, propaganda and hypocrisy.

And this saddens me.
For such blindfolds, be they state-induced, from one's home upbringing or from wherever only serve to shut out so many things that make us all better people.
Love, understanding, the sense of home and family, meaningfulprogress.
The list goes on and on.

I've seen this happen first-hand right here in my "modern" homeland, and have too many examples to list of and speak of. But that is for another time. I'm just musing(and perhaps ranting) generally here.

These are pretty much my general feelings on it. Why I'm against it as strongly as I am, and why when it happens, I condemn it as much as I do and as hard as I can.

Unity in diversity is a beautiful thing. It is my prayer that we can all come together as one family of humanity, not just in Malaysia but worldwide.

For we are all children of one Holy Emperor, one God.
Let us not forget that and cherish the common good values He has placed in all Humankind.

I usually don't like Beyonce's music. The word being usually.
Which means that I'm usually not moved much by it.

But I was blown away by this song when I first heard it on the radio. No prizes for guessing why.




Remember those walls I built
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
Woah...

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo

Have been torn in debate about whether I should start writing my stories again. I always come home too tired to even blog anymore these days, but I still have so many plot threads going I always feel tempted.
Should I start again, I wonder.

So it ultimately played out exactly as the pundits predicted.
Batang Ai, Sarawak remains in Barisan hands, while Bukit Selambau in Kedah and Bukit Gantang in Perak remain in Pakatan Rakyat hands.

Final score? Pakatan 2, BN 1.
We'll see how that victory benefits the people in the long run.

Hi guys.
Does anyone know of a good cobbler in PJ, or in the Sri Hartamas area. Got two pairs of shoes that are just beginning to fall apart.
Thanks!

To all my fellows covering the two Bukits and one Batang, I wish you the best of strength for today.
All the best, and may we all survive to report another day.

Hi guys!
Would appreciate it if we could all identify ourselves when we post, please. Hope you don't mind.

Thanks!

Been prompted to muse about what my favourites are, when it comes to the idiot box. Came up with the following, in no order.

1. 24

2. Doctor Who (but only from the David Tennant/Tenth Doctor era)

3. Boston Legal

4. Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex 1st G.I.G

5. Sakura Wars

6. FutureWeapons (Discovery Channel documentary series. I watch it on Youtube. Like it despite hating the host.)

7. The Agency

8. Mind Your Language

9. Goodness Gracious Me

10. Yes, Prime Minister


And, there are some notable mentions, which are

1. Star Trek (specifically The Next Generation and Deep Space 9)

2. Little Britain

3. Battlestar Galactica (but only the non-campy Ronald D Moore remake)

Ok guys. I know this is yet another Keisha post. But this is my blog, and I'm proud of her. So I'll say it.
She got her first byline this week. Challenges Magazine, page 68.

Available at MPH or any other major bookstore, of course.

About three years ago, I wrote a post on what it was like for me to love someone with NF.
In that post, I wrote about about loving someone with a genetic condition, being in a relationship with such a person. In this case, being in a relationship with Keisha, who has Neurofibromatosis Type 2.
It's called NF-2 for short.
In a nutshell, it causes tumours, not cancers, tumours, to appear on the nervous system. One can go blind, deaf, paralyzed, or, if really unlucky, worse can happen, including death.
An individual with NF faces an uncertain future. Some can go without surgery for years at a stretch. Some don't even know they have it. Some have to face 15 surgeries by the time they're 18.
To me, the fight against NF seems like a game of chess.
The condition's genetic. Hereditary, or by some fluke of nature, a spontaneous mutation.

When I wrote about what I felt loving Keisha in 2006, I had just embarked on my relationship with her. And at the time, I felt her condition was a non-issue to me. To me, I loved her all the same, NF or no NF.
I saw the future as an open book, unwritten. What would happen, would happen. And we would cross that challenge together when we came to it.

And thinking deeply over the weekend, I can say that everything, everything I said in 2006 remains true, if it has not been deepened with time.
In fact, seeing Keisha's daily accomplishments despite NF is nothing short of an inspiration to me. Over the past three years, I have seen the pendulum swing. From strength, to crippling weakness, to strength.
From being unable to walk or to even open a clenched fist to cutting through KL rush hour traffic at its worst. All within a year
Keisha, beyond anything is my phoenix. Her struggle with NF over the three blessed years I've been with her has shown me that rising from the ashes of despair is doable.
Which brings me to my lessons in faith.
Through Keisha's struggle with NF, I have seen what it is to have faith. To believe that despite all the suffering, there still is hope.
That despite all the loss, there still is a God that will reach down and lift you up.
She has never wavered in her faith at her lowest moments, and that to me is miracle enough.
That despite everything, she remains unshaken.
That is testament enough to have me believing in the power of faith.

Three years on after all the ups and downs, looking at everything- I still cherish being by her side. And I cherish every day with her even more than I did in 2006.
The experiences instead of deterring me, have encouraged me to press on.
Because life is that much more worthwhile. And Keisha, she is a reminder of that. To seize life, and make the very most of it.
To take a challenge, focus, and overcome it.

I had been running from challenges all my life. Running.
But loving Keisha despite the uncertainty that NF brings- that's a challenge I feel is worth fighting for.
Worth even dying for.

Lost the last post to an internet disconnect. Just been thinking lately, about a lot of things for later posts.
Hence my recent silence.
Plus, I had a three day weekend. Those things don't come by as often as I like.
As such, I just made the most of it.

Looks like I won't be covering UMNO today, was taken off it yesterday evening.
Will be in Shah Alam instead, covering the Selangor State Government's inquiry into aspects of the previous establishment.

Hope that goes well.

Been a while since I last posted here. Again, the same excuse. Work.
That and missing Mondays. I tell myself that I'll start resuming updates "this Monday", only to have it lapse and pass me by. Then it's "next Monday".
Which then passes me by.
Thanks to work.

It keeps me busy. Eats up time, and pays, well, not quite enough to cover it all in entirety.
But what job does, when one first gets the foot in the door.


What else can I say.
Am not looking forward to Wednesday or Thursdayat all. Am covering the UMNO General Assembly.
I don't believe in race-based politics. Not one bit. We're all Malaysians, we've been so for a good 50-something years and while we may have different religions and cultures, I do think there's more than enough common ground between us for us to stand united on a socioeconomic platform.
Let's phase it out, yes? Can we?

I've had birthdays, and I've had birthdays.
Some more fun than others while some were, well, more forgettable than others.
All due to many factors. The food, the location, the people.
And of course, beyond anything, the people are the most important factor.
The food could be hideous, the location cheap, but it would be all right by my standards if I had my nearest and dearest around me.
Not that it has ever come to such bad circumstances, but it has come close and for now I am speaking hypothetically here (I hope).

Enough about that. I must, beyond anything say that my 24th birthday, i.e. today was nothing short of an amazing breakout from previous years.

Had lunch with parents, as it's also the birthday of one of the parentals. Japanese in Subang.
Was a good morning before, as I was off work. Was relaxing, slow. No stress. Just Monty Python on youtube and relaxing.

Then. Well.

Got picked up from the house by Keisha, who'd already spent all morning preparing the birthday chilli dinner. Went back to her house.
Smelt lovely, rich, spicy, garlic-and-tomatoey
Rested, talked, and for want of a better word, got my back loosened. While it hurts a lot, I always walk away from Keisha's back massages a lot high-er than before.
And a lot looser in the shoulders.
(Note to self, keep working on posture)


Helped her make the birthday caramel flans. Tricky thing to do. Not as easy as it looked. Caramel is hot, and loading the liquid into the oven, well, delicate.
Dinner was, thanks to her, wonderful. The beef chilli with bread was, as it smelt. Garlicky, meaty, full of sweet-yet-sour tomato flavour. I could have had two, if not more bowls.
But I saved space for the flan, and let me say, it was beyond good and evil (too much of that Bavarian Restaurant sketch in my brain today)

Before this, I'd only tried English-style cream caramels. The flan is slightly different. Richer. Which is why Keisha modified the recipe a bit.
And the modifications made it into a dish that was really enjoyable, truly memorable. Sweet, but not overpoweringly so. Rich, but not gaggingly so.
I enjoyed the birthday flan, with its caramel layer just-so on the top. Wish I'd taken a photo of it now, but hey, I just dove right in.

There's two more in the fridge, think I'll snap one pic tomorrow.

Watched a movie with her. MidValley.


But, beyond the events, the movie, lies the people. I truly, truly believe this birthday, was made special by Keisha's presence.
Just being with her, seeing her, talking to her and just the very effort she made to make it special.

The time, skill, and beyond anything love. I just feel, well, loved, special. That feeling.

Which is why, I suppose this post comes easy to write. Extra easy.


Again, beyond anything, Keisha, I love you, and thank you. Thank you for taking, making that effort for me.
My 24th birthday was by far, the best I've had in years.

To all who wished me well on facebook, or through other means, thanks for your birthday wishes! Hope you all had great days too!

Don't know why, but writing doesn't come to me as easily as it once did. And by writing, I mean blogging.
It used to be so effortless, but then, it really was a different time, the past.
A lot has happened since, and this year, in reflection was definitely eventful to say the least. Too many things happened. Too many ups and downs for my liking.
Some steps forward, some strong blows back.

Got my first full-time, serious job as a reporter. Learnt the ropes from the deep end out, and got some experience.
Learnt that despite how turbulent the world seems to be, deep down, it's pretty much the same old rhetoric, the same cycle repeated over and over again.
That when it comes down to our leaders, to those aspiring to lead us, it's pretty much the same cycle of hot air and emptiness.

Learnt to deal with losses close to the heart, with death in my life. And not just any deaths, the deaths of those close and near to me.
Those who I'd well, assumed would always be there, and those I assumed were, well strong enough to have time on their side.
As they watch on from above, I learnt to thank them for their place in my life, however long or short it was.

And, to cherish those closest to me, those who have held on to me through it all, no matter how difficult it was.
Or how difficult I was to them.
To you, 2008 has but deepen'd my love for you even more, and more and more are you family to me.

2008, a year. I have learnt so much.
To love, to lose, to let go.
To trust, to believe, to have faith.

2008.
What a year it has been.

I just hope, and pray that 2009 can only be better.
Not just for me. For everyone.

May 2009 be filled with progress, warmth and joy for all!

Happy 2009, dear friends, near and far!
May the year to come be miles better than 2008, in every possible way. Wishing you all the best with your lives, your pursuits, hopes and dreams.

And, if I have offended anyone over this year, I do apologise. May we all start off the year to come with warmth, smiles and on the right foot!

A New Dawn


Let us join hands in prayer, our King is born tonight!

Let us sing praise, because our Miracle is shining ever so bright.



Lord strengthen us, wipe away our woes.

2008 has come and gone,

And some things have been left barren and forlorn.

Teach us Lord to grapple each challenge and put up a fight,

Let it be through You, that we overcome life’s cruel blight.



Lord have mercy on us, grant us Your clemency.

Our hearts have been burdened and weighed down,

For it has been too long that we have worn a frown.

Teach us Lord to forgive so that Your truth will reign clear,

That we may love our friends and family and hold them near and dear.



Lord many of us have gone astray.

Our faith weakened and our souls cut adrift,

as our struggles have caused such a rift.

Teach us Lord to trust and believe, with a sincere passion set alight,

for miracles come when we walk by faith and not by human sight.



Amen. Amen. Amen.

A New Year has come, let the candles glow.

Our Guiding star has steered our course.

With divine purpose, let our love flow,

We have reached a new dawn, may we contribute as a positive force.


(c) Keisha Petrus

Dear friends, dear all.
A merry, merry Christmas to all of you, and here's hoping 2009 will be more of a blessing to you than 2008 was, in every way possible.

Been thinking lately, musing. About love.
Love changes one's life completely. Falling in love, being in love and living with love. It's that spark that makes you go the extra for that someone. And not care about it one bit.
I never thought I'd ever experience it. That sort of do-or-die, do everything all consuming love. So I locked those feelings away for a while, say, five or six years ago.
And when I locked them away, well, I thought I'd be doing it for good.
I thought that I'd have no need for such feelings because, well I'd never find anyone. So I'd have to be content by myself for life.
But, little did I know that locking away my yearning for love, companionship, and the deeper trust would have dire consequences for me.
My arrogance soared, coupled with blind pride. I thought the world of myself, and the pedestal I stood on grew taller and taller.
The energy which would have been expended on loving another, I spent on myself, whether I realised it or not.

And that was how it was, until 3 years ago, to this very day.
When I found someone who was willing to love me for me, to be there for me.

It was not easy at first, when the long buried emotions were uncaged.
Frankly, I was terrified of them at first.
The very feeling of the living love, the true love conflicted with my arrogance.
And at first, I recoiled from it, I tried to run from it.
It took time, and indeed much sacrifice on her part before I came around to love.
Although she has so much on her plate already, she made space not only in her life, but in her heart for me.

She's shared so much with me the past three years, and I hope, and I pray that she'll be there for many, many more years to come.
She's tolerated so much from me, and Lord knows, I'm not an easy person to love. I've got my issues, my baggage.
But she sees things in me I don't, and she pushes me to make the most of myself because she loves me.

And it's not hyperbole. For example, she was there to push me to learn how to drive. She believed I could, when those close to me said I was incapable.


I yearn to just spend the rest of my life by her side, loving her.
Thinking back, three years to December 2005, I have no regrets about leaving the single, lonely life behind.
No regrets, for if I had stuck to my blindness and remained single, this I know. I'd be passionless in life, I'd still be arrogant and narrow minded, and ignorant of my true capabilities.

Keisha, I love you. You move me at the deepest levels, so much more than you'll ever know.
Words cannot say just how blessed I am to have you in my life.

Been meaning to post this up here for a while.
Actually a very, very long while.

Through my first, ICQ and then MSN and Gtalk conversations with friends, I have come out with new words that have, sparked amusement from friends and such. So have been thinking of sharing them here.
Hope you find them as amusing as I did

Isiot
Came up as a typo originally. A smooshing of a Malay word, "Isi", which means core or filling, with "Idiot". So an "isiot" is someone who's an idiot down to his or her core.

Exaggeranting
To exaggerate while ranting to make a point. "Exaggerate"+"ranting".

-ed
To add "-ed" to the end of a place name, somewhere you don't want to go, but have to go there and be stuck there.
Example: "I'm being Parliament-ed tomorrow, ugh."

Taken with a Sony Ericsson K610i on Nov 21, 2008 on Firefly flight from Subang to Penang.

All photos are (c) Tan Yi Liang, 21/11/2008

Photo taken with a SE K610i at Sri Hartamas on Nov 1 2008

The photo is (c) Tan Yi Liang 1/11/2008

Dear friends, hello everybody.

Just thought I would share Keisha's latest composition, which she dedicate this to all Malaysians. Please do pass it on. Personally, I must say that I found it beautiful. No beating around the bush, hidden meanings or guesswork needed with this poem. Let's hope this message goes far.



I Hope, I Pray





Inspired by the works of Mattie J. T. Stepanek.

Dedicated to all Malaysians.





I hope that someday

we can sit around the table for brunch

with our minds and spirits as one family.

I pray that someday

we will learn to realize

that despite our differences, we all descended from THE One.



I hope that someday

schoolchildren will embrace individuality

so that we may strive as a nation of unique solidarity.

I pray that someday

all children will realize

that respect and acceptance are keys to unlock the door to compassion and understanding.





I hope that someday

our citizens may open their hearts

to help the poor, the aging, the disabled.

I pray that someday

our citizens will realize

that magnanimity and selflessness to a worthy cause bring about true contentment.





I hope that someday

institutions which mold our minds will consider

education for all that deserve, so not to abide by some faulty criteria

I pray that someday

those in powerful positions will realize

that education is a token to be earned, so don’t treat it as if it be a frugal expenditure.





I hope that someday

our leaders will join hand in hand

to abolish unjust laws, so to guide us to the rhythm of the marching band.

I pray that someday

Our leaders will realize

that we need them to be our examples; to emulate honesty, diligence and temperance.





I hope that someday

Our people will understand

Yes! we have many religions but we are bound in one body; it is our spirituality

I pray that someday

our people will realize

that we must stand up together as one, as our Creator desired us to be connected as such.



I hope and I pray now

that today will be the day of progression

For it is the choices that we make in our hearts and in our attitudes

to build one humanity and one world.





(c) Keisha Somasundram Petrus

All photos were taken at the National Day Parade dress rehearsals. Was assigned to look for stories there, and generally to cover the event.

All photos are (c) Tan Yi Liang, 30/08/08

Official Election Commission result: With 11 more boxes to go, Anwar has won the by-election with a 14,551 majority. He garnered 27,977 votes while BN's Arif Shah obtained 13,426 while Akim's Hanafi Hamat got 85.

A new dawn for Malaysia? Time will tell.

Time will tell.

But, until then, this I will say

ALL YOUR PERMATANG PAUH ARE BELONG TO US!

.."Us" being the people, of course.
(at least I hope)

It amuses me that today is the anniversary of Donaghue v Stevenson
Anyone who's ever touched Law at some point in their life would remember this case. I hope.

Was inspired by Keisha to mull over what quotes are my favourites, and have selected, at random. For now, this is a quick one, but will keep updating this post as they come to me

La vida es un regalo precioso,
¡Usted nunca sabe, cuando su vida puede caerse rodando apenas un precipicio!
Así, es recordado por favor,
nunca dar por sentado vida.

"Life is a precious gift,
You never know, when your life may just roll off a cliff!
So, please be reminded,
never to take life for granted,"
Keisha Petrus, Spanish Poem on Life (English translation by Keisha Petrus), 2007



"To see a World in a Grain of Sand. And a Heaven in a Wild Flower. Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand. And Eternity in an hour."
William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

"The true method of knowledge is experiment."
William Blake, All Religions are One

"Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and repulsion,reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence."
William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart.”
Helen Keller (1880 - 1968 )

“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, “Why not?”
George Bernard Shaw

"Don't think you are, know you are"
Morpheus(Laurence Fishburne), The Matrix, 1999

"You have to let it all go. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind."
Morpheus(Laurence Fishburne), The Matrix, 1999

"It is purpose that created us. Purpose that connects us. Purpose thatpulls us. That guide us. That drive us. It is purpose that defines.Purpose that binds us."
Agent Smith(Hugo Weaving), The Matrix Reloaded, 2003

“Have faith and the mountains will start to move, the darkness will turn to light. For miracles come when we walk by faith and not by human sight.”
Unknown

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away but Love never ends!”
Holy Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"And whenever those possessed by evil spirits caught sight of him, they would fall down in front of him shrieking, 'You are the Son of God!'"
Holy Bible, Mark 3:11

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. I know it's a late rave, but they also say better late than never
Keisha did an amazing frittata on Friday, and here are pictures of it.

Just one question, to all my Malaysian friends.
Permatang Pauh. Which side are you on?

( If you're interested )

Date:	2008-08-20 00:10
Subject:	Reposted with permission from karcy
Security:	Public

This blogpost, originally posted on Livejournal, by karcy, taken from her friend Ethan's blog, to me underscores what is wrong with National Service.


-Hell, (c) Ethan, July 19,2008, reposted.


National Service. It’s been hell.

You’ve heard the stories. How about another?

The first thing that hit me like first love was the racial divide. The Chinese mix with Chinese, Malays with Malays, Indians with Indians. We were asked several times to line up according to race (Malays here, Chinese here, Indians here, Dan Lain-Lain here) in order to distribute the races equally when it came to sorting us into classes, companies, and dorms. There are Wakil Bangsa (race representative) members for feedback about the food we have in the canteen. We are to see our respective Wakil Bangsa if we have any comments or complaints. The basketball team has a race quota: two Malays, two Chinese, and, if I’m not mistaken, room for one Dan Lain-Lain. The week before we were due to return home for holiday, they picked a representative from each race and announced that if we had any questions regarding the traveling arrangements we could talk to our Wakil Bangsa. It’s a rule, written and hung on the walls of our classrooms, that we should respect members of other races and religions.

Last week a fight broke out in Dorm One. Four Malay and three Chinese boys had decided to settle their differences by force. The cops came in. The trainers, teachers, and camp commandant were visibly agitated. They assembled the camp and told us repeatedly that it was not a racial issue, that it was an isolated case involving individuals, and that in an NS camp race didn’t matter as we were all Bangsa Malaysia. They went on this note for some time, so much so that it became clear they were exacerbating a wound they were desperately trying to cover up. That night the air quivered with tension. The Chinese gathered. The leader of the pack promised swift retaliation should any of his Chinese brethren suffer. They whispered, cast dark glances at the Malays, and were prepared to leap into action that very night. The deep distrust between the races bubbled and frothed but remained in the pot. Nothing happened. There was no racial retribution that day or during the days that followed.

A friend of mine missed roll call one night because he wasn’t well. When the head of his dorm reported it to the trainers, they didn’t even bother to inquire about what he was down with, they only wanted to know his race. The following day he was sent to the medic. He had dengue.

As it was with our races, the trainers displayed the same diligence when it came to sorting us by religion. We were told to stand here, there, or here according to our religion. The Malays stood on one side, all Muslim obviously, no questions asked. The non-Malays stood another side, then were divided by Buddhists, Hindus, Christians. All the Buddhists were Chinese. All the Hindus were Indian. I stood alone as the only Christian. Half the camp stared. Their eyes made my neck burn.

The Muslims are told, reminded, and scolded on a daily basis to attend the surau. A trainer once gave the Muslims a verbal lashing for talking during his friendly reminder. He quickly turned sour and launched into an angry lecture about the duties of orang Islam. The rest of us non-orang Islam were excused from the lecture, but we had to sit through it anyway. Another time, we were told that should any Malay be caught outside the surau when he was supposed to be inside, his whole dorm would be punished. They haven’t succeeded in catching any truants yet.

Every morning we wake up at 5.30am because the Muslims rise to go to the surau. By 6.30am we’re out on the padang kawad to raise the flags. We sing Negaraku and the Khidmat Negara theme song. We recite the Rukun Negara. Then there’s an Islamic prayer. For Muslims only. The non-Muslims are excused, excused to the extent that we don’t have to hold up our hands in prayer. We still have to go through with it every morning because Malaysia is, after all, an Islamic country.

To their credit, the trainers have been remarkably conscientious in getting the non-Muslims to their temples or churches. I was surprised to discover they were ready to take me to church even if I was the only trainee in the bus. One trainer told us that everyone had a religion. No, he corrected himself, everyone should have a religion. If you didn’t have a religion, you might as well climb up a building and jump. What was the use of living? And so, if you had a religion, you’d better do as your religion dictated. If you’re Buddhist, go to the temple. Hindu, go to the temple. Muslim, go to the surau. Christian, go to church. We nodded. One can’t argue with such logic.

Race, religion, and language are a Holy Trinity. They exist as three distinct individuals and yet are one mysterious, inseparable whole. Being a Malay means Islam and Bahasa Melayu. Being an Indian means Hinduism and Tamil. And so on and so forth. As a Chinese who isn’t a Buddhist but a Christian, and as a Chinese who cannot speak a word of Chinese, I’ve distinguished myself as an unholy aberration. To meet someone who doesn’t fit into any of your stereotypes is quite an experience. Your view of the world and its inhabitants are challenged to move to broader horizons, but you don’t like change. None of us do. It’s easier to dismiss an anomaly as an exception to the rule and proceed to treat said anomaly accordingly. I’ve been questioned more times than I care to remember whether I’m really Chinese. Are my parents Chinese? Why can’t I speak the language of my kin? Oh dear, oh dear. When I reply that I’m anak Malaysia, not anak Cina, so far their only response has been a blank look and an open mouth.

The racist logic that ties all Chinese to the Chinese language, and all Indians to saris, and all Malays to Islam, is a fantastic elephant in the room. Ask around and many will tell you, with a world-weary sigh, that that’s how it is. It’s a fact of life. That’s how the cookie crumbles and you’d better get with the program. Slapping RACE and RELIGION on people’s foreheads is a perfectly acceptable practice. We’ll have our own little China Towns. We’ll go to our temples. You bumiputeras can do what you want. Just leave us alone. This mentality is born in schools, nurtured in homes, and finally comes of age in a National Service camp. The trainers and teachers tell us that we are Bangsa Malaysia, one race, that the blood that runs in our veins is Malaysian blood. With their lips they say as much. With their hands they draw the lines that divide again and again. Given enough time they get so that when they see racism they call it integration. After a while, that’s all that they can see.

In case you didn’t know, the National Service logo, the three red flames rising out of Malaysia’s crescent and star, is supposed to symbolize the three races united under one flag. It’s incredible. I can’t imagine a more fitting logo.

I haven’t spilled all the beans. The worst is yet to come.

And I have another one and a half months to go.

Some trivia for you High School Musical fans, Firefly fans, or fans of both


...Zac was, apparently Simon Tam.

And just when I was thinking Vanessa Hudgens would make a good River.

Two weeks ago, this was reported in the Star. The original version is reproduced here for the link-phobic, and it has since been edited on the Star's website.

About 500 angry parents and other members of the Indian community gathered outside a secondary school here on Monday to protest racial slurs and abuse allegedly uttered by a teacher against Indian students recently.

The crowd began gathering outside SMK Telok Panglima Garang’s main entrance near here at noon and dispersed about two hours later.

The headmaster was on leave, so some teachers accepted on his behalf copies of police reports made by a Form Four student and a Form Five student. According to the police reports, the female history teacher had allegedly called Indian students in a Form Four and a Form Five class ‘keling pariah’, ‘Negro’, ‘black monkeys’ as well as other
derogatory names.

The teacher had also purportedly said that ‘Indians came from dogs’and the community members were stupid and prone to thuggery and thievery.

The police reports also alleged that the teacher had said that Indians were the ‘children of prostitutes’ and the community’s youths‘did not have testicles’ on July 17 and 22, and had also purportedly beaten up some Indians students.

The Form Four student also alleged in his report that the teacher had written the word ‘keling pariah’ on the board and lost her cool when the Indian students in the class told her that they did not like being called names.

Coalition of Malaysian Indian NGOs secretary Gunaraj George, who was among those who handed over the police reports, said that exposure to such abuse would only breed hatred and racial polarisation in schools.

“No one in his or her right frame of mind would have said these things. Given this, the best option would be for the teacher to be assigned to a desk job and not be allowed to be near youngsters anymore,” he said.

Meanwhile, Deputy Education Minister Dr Wee Ka Siong said the schoolteacher might be sacked if the allegations proved true.

The allegations were serious as no one was allowed to insult others,especially in a school environment, said Dr Wee, who was asked to comment on the incident when visiting a nine-year-old accident victim at the Sultanah Aminah Hospital in Johor Baru.

He added that the ministry was awaiting an official report before taking any action.

Broke my brain today.
Stopped at a Shell station to buy some drinks. Keisha and I were heading off to Bukit Jalil to find Stadium Putra.
No place to park but in front of the main entrance.

As I was buying my drinks, I saw the station manager standing out in front of the car, looking irritated and waiting for me to move it.
I could understand why, I must admit I was blocking the way for customers, so I was ready to apologise and move on once I had paid for my drinks.

Nothing prepared me for what I was about to hear.

"Excuse me, move your car. You're blocking our *feng shui"

I was pretty much brain-broken

"I'm...I'm...blocking your what..?"

He repeated himself. I apparently was blocking his feng shui.
It took me a few seconds to compose myself. It was just that...ridiculous.

Keisha asked me what was going on. She thought I was joking.
I was in no way joking. I moved the car a bit, the WTF look still on my face.

"I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous. It's illogical!"

He then tried to appeal to my roots(I think).

"We're Chinese! We believe in feng shu!"

Excuse me, but you "believe" in feng shui? What, the "flow" of mystic energies suddenly became a religion?

"I'm sorry, sir. But I'm a modern Chinese person, and I believe in logic and rational science," I said to him before driving off.

Which is not entirely accurate, as I believe in God, the Divine One. But He's different from feng shui.
He's God, and He's there, and yes, I know that's faith.

But it's...different. I'm sorry, I really am struggling to say this. I'm sorry. I just can't buy the swill Joey Yap, Lillian Too and all the rest of them pull out of their hats to make a buck.

Like how one has to have fish in a certain place to bring in some "water element", or your door facing a certain way to bring in business.
People spend big bucks on bringing in "experts" to tell them where to build entrances, put potted plants, and other such nonsense.
There's a limit to this.
Yeah. Buying a fish that costs RM 8,888 is going to bring you loads of luck simply because there are markings on its scales that look like the word for "prosperity" in Mandarin.
Living in a house numbered 4 will not kill you. It will not doom your business too.

The only one who I think profits from this would be the fish business.

Would'nt it be more practical to hire a business consultant and an accountant, perhaps a financial planner to take a look at your books and tell you where to go from there, eh?
Perhaps get a friend in marketing to give your plan a looksee.

Have a practical, realistic, non-superstitious plan, work hard at it, and trust God to show you the way.
There's no such thing as luck in my books. There's only God and His blessings for us all.
But we have to prove we're willing to work hard for them too. Work hard and work smart at them.


And be sincere in everything you do for Him. That much I'll say.

I'm not an expert, so I'll just try to speak from my heart.

Hi friends
Am back, know I have'nt blogged in a while, but work and life have been pressing.

It's been quite hard to get momentum going when your work already consists of writing stuff at a computer.

But I'm back. Had enough brain-breaking experiences that writing would pretty much be a good catharsis for me.

Cheers.

Was passed this news by divabat earlier this evening.

Teacher lets Morningside students vote out classmate, 5

PORT ST. LUCIE — Melissa Barton said she is considering legal action after her son's kindergarten teacher led his classmates to vote him out of class.
After each classmate was allowed to say what they didn't like about Barton's 5-year-old son, Alex, his Morningside Elementary teacher Wendy Portillo said they were going to take a vote, Barton said.
By a 14 to 2 margin, the students voted Alex — who is in the process of being diagnosed with autism — out of the class.
Melissa Barton filed a complaint with Morningside's school resource officer, who investigated the matter, Port St. Lucie Department spokeswoman Michelle Steele said. But the state attorney's office concluded the matter did not meet the criteria for emotional child abuse, so no criminal charges will be filed, Steele said.
Port St. Lucie Police no longer are investigating, but police officials are documenting the complaint, she said.
Steele said the teacher confirmed the incident took place.
Portillo could not be reached for comment Friday.
Steele said the boy had been sent to the principal's office because of disciplinary issues.
When he returned, Portillo made him go to the front of the room as a form of punishment, she said.
Barton said her son is in the process of being diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a type of high-functioning autism. Alex began the testing process in February at the suggestion of Morningside Principal Marcia Cully.
Children diagnosed with Asperger's often exhibit social isolation and eccentric behavior..
Alex has had disciplinary issues because of his disability, Barton said. After the family moved into the area and Alex and his sibling arrived at the school in January, Alex spent much of the time in the principal's office, she said.
He also had problems at his last school, but he did not have issues during his two years of preschool, Barton said.
School and district officials have met with Barton and her son to create an individual education plan to address his difficulties, she said. Portillo attended these meetings, Barton said.
Barton said after the vote, Portillo asked Alex how he felt.
"He said, 'I feel sad,' " Barton said.
Alex left the classroom and spent the rest of the day in the nurse's office, she said.
Barton said when she came to pick up her son at the school Wednesday, he was leaving the nurse's office.
"He was shaken up," she said.
Barton said the nurse told her to talk with Portillo, who told her what happened.
Alex hasn't been back to school since then, and Barton said he won't be returning. He starts screaming when she brings him with her to drop off his sibling at school.
Thursday night, his mother heard him saying "I'm not special" over and over.
Barton said Alex is reliving the incident.
The other students said he was "disgusting" and "annoying," Barton said.
"He was incredibly upset," Barton said. "The only friend he has ever made in his life was forced to do this."
St. Lucie School's spokeswoman Janice Karst said the district is investigating the incident, but could not make any further comment.
Vern Melvin, Department of Children and Families circuit administrator, confirmed the agency is investigating an allegation of abuse at Morningside but said he could not elaborate.

Article is (c) TCPalm.

The article moved me. I might not know what it is like, to have a disability, or a condition, but I sure as hell know one thing.
It is wrong to pillory someone at that age. It is damned dead wrong to put a child on the stand like that, and have him, or her condemned and humiliated publicly.
To me, it is conduct unbecoming of a teacher to subject not only a child, but a special child to the ripping claws of peer pressure.
She should have known better. She should have known that such a situation would rip the child to shreds.
The scars remain. And such scars are, from personal experience, no laughing joke.

With all my heart, I revile such people. They do not deserve the title "Teacher".
They deserve neither the authority, nor the respect that the title brings.

For to me, the job of a teacher is to impart knowledge. And not just the knowledge in the textbooks, but life lessons itself.
Especially if you're teaching in a primary school. Especially if you're teaching kids.
Because, please let me say this.
To them, if you do your job well, you're more than just teaching them their 123s and their ABCs. You're their judge, their jury, their MP, psychologist, confidant.
And by your conduct, you're teaching them about fairness, respect, equality, justice. You're helping them see real values in action.

And to me, that is a sacred covenant. I just felt sick reading that article, reading how Portillo took that covenant and threw an innocent young boy into the mob.
She perverted her covenant for mob "violence". This was no vote of no confidence, this was no trial by jury.
This was pure and simple mob violence, emotional violence.

This story hit a nerve in me. And I speak from my experiences.

In Standard 4 (4th Grade), I had, among other teachers, a young teacher named Kumutha Lakshmi. She taught us all Moral Education.
I was not popular with the class, because I was different. My interests did not lie in football, sports or other "normal things."
She was told by my classmates that I was a "troublemaker", a problem child, and that I misbehaved towards my other classmates.

So what did she do. She believed them wholesale.
Every Moral Education class, she'd call me up in front of the class and ask the class one question.
"Class, what has Yi Liang done wrong lately?"

And she'd believe everything that was told, with no chance for me to refute their claims.
Every class, she'd believe them because, well, so many people can't be wrong.
Hell, eventually I wound up believing it myself and trying to "be good."

And she'd try to "counsel" me and punish me for being such a "problem" child. Not once did she ever try to investigate the claims independently.
She. bought. it. all.
Not once did she consider peer pressure amongst the class.

While I may not have been a special child, I too was pilloried for being different from the "normal".
And through the many sessions, it taught me valuable lessons.
To hate injustice. The value of a fair trial. To cherish one's true friends, for the truest of friends are the hardest gems to find.
To not trust human authority, to question.
And to seek justice, proper justice by whatever means.

For mob rule is not justice.

She too, is to me in the same boat as Partillo. Kumutha Lakshmi, conduct unbecoming of a teacher.

Church of Saint-Jean-de-Malte, in Aix-en-Provence, Provence, France in November 2007.

"Church and Sky" is (c) Tan Yi Liang 2007/2008.

It amuses me at how narrow minded and bigoted some people can be.
The only question this article left me with is, a big "what the hell next?"

I suppose there are bigots, bigots everywhere.



School uniform sexy, says group

KUALA LUMPUR: A Malaysian group condemned the uniform worn by girls at government schools, saying it encouraged rape and pre-marital sex.

“The white blouse is too transparent for girls and it becomes a source of attraction,” National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia vice-president Munirah Bahari said in a statement.

“It becomes a distraction to men, who are drawn to it, whether or not they like looking at it,” she said, calling for a review of uniform policy so that it did not violate Islamic ideals.

In multicultural Malaysia, home to majority-Muslim Malays as well as ethnic Chinese and Indians, female students at government schools have a choice of wearing a white blouse with a knee-length skirt or pinafore.

They may also wear a “baju kurung” and a headscarf is optional for Malay students.

Munirah said that “covering up” according to Islamic precepts was important to fend off social ills, including “rape, sexual harassment and even premarital sex.”

“This leads to babies born out of wedlock and, to an extent, even prostitution,” she said.

“Decent clothes which are not revealing can prevent and protect women from any untoward situations,” she said, suggesting that girls wear a blouse of a different colour or with an undergarment.

However, the girls themselves also came in for criticism, with the association saying that some used the white blouse to lure men.

“This is the source of the problem, where we can see that schoolgirls themselves are capable of using this to attract men to them,” Munirah said.

“This could see them getting molested, having premarital sex and all sorts of things.”

(c) AFP, reproduced in The Star, 22/05/08

Keisha's dog, Chanel gave birth today to 8 puppies. All utterly cute and adorable, and do read about it here.
Her write-up on it is so much better than I could ever do.

I've had that question thrown at me one too many times.
"What race are you?"
It's a question I usually choke at answering. If it's asked by a foreigner not familiar with multiracial Malaysian society, fine.
But not when it's asked by a Malaysian. And certainly not when it's asked in a tone implying that I'm a deviant somehow.

Worse still, is "are you Chinese?"
Especially when asked by a Chinese person, in a tone that just as well might say "what's wrong with you?"
Have got that before. I usually just ask back, does it really matter what race I am?
Does it? I think not.
Once encountered a cab driver who just went on and on about it, that it mattered, that I had to proudly declare that "I AM CHINESE."
That I was a deviant somehow, somehow in the wrong for the very fact I speak English without that skewing of words marking my "Chinese-ness"
I do not "tuk lik dees waan". I do not mangle "eight" to sound like "eggt" or "egks" or zero as "jeelo".

Back to "You Chinese ah?"
Yes, I am. But to stick to narrowly calling myself "Chinese" would be to leave me as an incomplete person.
To me, my Chinese-ness is but a facet of my racial identity. Like the foundation to a house.
A house needs more than a foundation to be complete. It needs floors, walls, a roof. And so much more.
In that light, that is who I am. I have a foundation, but I am also Indian, Japanese, Malaysian, and more.
I am Pan-Asian. I am human, and that is what should matter.

We should keep our horizons broad, our minds open to all cultures.
Acknowledge our foundations, yes. But do not cling to them as the supreme be-all and end-all of who we are.
Because, in my humble opinion that leads only to racism, oppression, and ultimately disharmony.

Taken last Saturday from Penang Hill peak. Photo is (c) Tan Yi Liang 16/05/08